家长讲座：学一点心理学ParentSchool—TakeCareofMentalHea

为了打造家长、教师、学生共同参与的学习型社区，5月25日的晚上，国际部浦西校区四、五年级学段邀请了同济大学附属东方医院临床心理科临床心理治疗师张露佳老师来我校甄陶楼报告厅开展讲座，主题为“青春解密”。张露佳老师围绕如何辨识心理问题和心理疾病，青春期孩子的心理发展特点和常见心理问题，以及如何和青春期孩子相处的实用心理知识这几点与家长们展开了深入的沟通。

To create a learning community where parents, teachers, and students participate together, the fourth and fifth grades of SHSID Puxi Campus invited Ms. Zhang Lujia, certified psychotherapist of the department of clinical psychology at East Hospital Affiliated to Tongji University, to give a lecture in the Zhentao Building lecture hall on the evening of May 25th. The theme was the Mental Secret of Teens. Ms. Zhang talked about how to differentiate mental health problems and mental illness, the psychological developmental traits of teenagers and common problems, tips for parents to deal with the mental challenges, and how to get along with teenagers.

首先，张露佳老师介绍了心理健康的定义，并比较了心理困扰和心理疾病的区别。心理困扰是正常的心理活动，每个人都难免会有内心痛苦，情绪低落的时候，但如果内心的痛苦无法抑制而导致日常行为、情绪、认知的异常，则会引发心理疾病，需要专业的医生介入。张老师还提供了一份抑郁自评量表和焦虑自评量表，帮助大家更好地了解自己现在的心理状况。

First of all, Ms. Zhang introduced the meaning of mental health and compared the differences between mental health problems and mental illness. Mental problems or disturbances are normal mental activities. Each of us has ups and downs and if the uncontrollable feelings cause troubles or even disorders in our daily behaviors, emotions, or cognition, professional intervention is needed. Ms. Zhang also provided a Self-Rating Depression Scale and a Self-Rating Anxiety Scale to help the audience to understand their current mental situation.

随后，张老师强调了关系的重要性，从人际关系疗法的三个领域入手，强调家长应首先避免亲子冲突，为孩子营造祥和、愉快的家庭环境。同时，张老师呼吁家长们提高对孩子身体和心理变化的意识，并从发展心理学的角度分析了儿童青少年心理和认知发展的过程，旨在告诉家长在每个年龄都有各个阶段的认知、道德、行为发展的水平，不必过度焦虑，要遵循孩子心理发展的规律。

Afterward, Ms. Zhang emphasized the importance of relationships; she mentioned three areas in interpersonal therapy and suggested the first thing parents need to do is to avoid conflicts, creating a peaceful and happy environment for the children. Meanwhile, Ms. Zhang advocated for the parents to raise awareness for children’s physical and mental change. She further analyzed the process of children and teenagers’ mental and cognitive development from the developmental psychology’s perspective. Parents should notice the different cognitive, moral, and behavioral development in different ages to follow the developmental pattern rather than feeling too anxious about the changes.

之后，张老师为各位家长提出了具体可行的指导方法，一言以蔽之，为 “关爱与规矩并行的养育”。关爱不是溺爱，而是为了造就安全感。父母的关爱好比一棵树的树根提供养料，孩子就像一棵树，如果有足够的养料，孩子在成长过程中即使遇到困难，也有扎实的树根来抵御风吹雨打。只有这样，才能提升孩子的心理韧性，培养孩子勇于接受挑战，自信，敢于承诺有担当，和自我控制的能力。

Later, Ms. Zhang provided more concrete and detailed guidance. In short, the advice is to educate with both care and discipline. Caring is not spoiling but creating a sense of safety. Care from parents for the child is like providing nutrition to the root of a plant. If a child has enough care (nutrition), even if they meet setbacks in the future, they can defend themselves when any problem arises. With the proper care, children can build resilience, including confidence, commitment, self-control, and the ability to conquer challenges.

当孩子遇到行为问题时，家长应当先思考行为背后的情绪和需求是什么。首先应做到共情，即耐心、真诚地倾听，理解孩子的情绪，将情绪处理好了，再说事情。在沟通时，态度应和蔼可亲，能接纳孩子的想法，不含敌意地拒绝，不嫌弃。当家长能给到孩子真正的情感和实际的支持时，孩子在遇到问题时才会愿意向家人寻求帮助，进行更有效的沟通。

When children meet problems, the first thing parents need to do is to empathize with the children and understand children’s emotions by listening patiently and sincerely. After that, parents can have better communication about the actual problems. Ms. Zhang suggested that parents listen with kindness and attention, welcome children’s idea, and no reject with hostility. When parents can provide helpful supports, children are more willing to seek help from parents and have more effective communication with parents.

最后，张老师鼓励各位家长先照顾好自己的情绪，用积极快乐的心态来和孩子相处。朱丹主任也将教育比喻成园丁，引导家长给予孩子一个受保护的但又能自由生长的空间，助他们健康快乐成长。

Finally, Ms. Zhang encouraged parents to first care for their own emotions, to have a positive mindset, and better get along with their children. Ms. Chris, the director of grades 4-5, thought educators and parents are like gardeners who provide a safe but free space for children to grow happily.

本文转载自“上海中学国际部”

文｜吴垠 孙凡帆

图｜康倪娜

审稿｜黄诗媛，Mikah Jimenez

Written by｜Wu Yin, Sun Fanfan

Pictures by｜Kang Nina

Edited by｜ Huang Shiyuan, Mikah Jimenez