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How to Deal with Setbacks By Dr. Ling SunAng

凌笋昂 副主任医师 好大夫工作室 精神科
2009-05-26 2227人已读
凌笋昂 副主任医师
好大夫工作室

  We may encounter various setbacks in our life and these setbacks may never repeat themselves. They appear differently in different period of life.
  
Students may have problems in learning, for example, the goal and motivation of learning, the method and attitude of study, and as well as their school performances. If they fail to deal with these matters properly, they may have problems in study and even develop to psychological problems. 好大夫工作室精神科凌笋昂
  
Adults are often puzzled by love and sex affairs. They may encounter problems, such as, unrequited love, turned down by love affairs, contradictions between love and learning and nurse thoughts of revenge because of the broken affection. The common sexual psychological problems are masturbation, sex before marriage, cohabitation and extramarital love that may easily lead to fears, worries and misgivings. Besides, some may develop to abnormal psychology, such as, material complex and peep.
  
Job-hunting, career choosing, competence and unemployment are matters often leading to psychological problems of the contemporaries. How to choose a career, how to make a plan for life, the skills for a job audition and how to keep competence in position and for promotion, etc., these are all factors to bring us, more or less, worries and anxieties.
  
Interpersonal relationship leads to one of the major psychological setbacks of the human being. The symptoms show that it is hard to get along with others, have no good friends, lack of necessary skills to communicate with others, being too accommodating and care for overall interests. These may lead to sad feelings of loneliness, bitterness, short of concerns and cares.
  The old often suffer from super session of the old by the new, stepping down from leading positions, retirement, the death of their beloved and being isolated and helpless. How to look at these rules of law in life, get used to the transition, handle the sense of alienation properly after retirement, domestic emptiness when children grown up and the bitterness facing death of the beloved, all these have to be dealt with properly, to avoid the development of geriatric depression and cranial vascular disease.

  Now, it comes to the key, how to handle them. 

  Keeping a good mood:

  1. Do not judge yourself too harshly. You will be satisfied and happy if you set a goal just within capability. Do not make your ambitions too high and never seek for perfect when doing things.
  
2. Do not expect too much from others. Otherwise, you will be disappointed if she/he fails to meet your expectation.
  
3. Dredge the mood of indignation timely. When you get raged you may fail to control yourself and do something that sound stupid. So, you’d better calm yourself before doing any thing.
  
4. Learning be tolerate and forgiveness. Toleration and forgiveness can either sooth your own mood or benefit the improvement of interpersonal relationship.
  
5. When you encounter setbacks you’d better to leave it alone and begin to do something you like, for example, go to the theater or do exercises, etc.
  
6. You may ease yourself by telling your unhappiness to your good friends, parents, teachers or even making a telephone call to psychological hotlines.
  
7. Do something good for others. In this way, you will not only forget your worries but also find your own value and at the same time make friends with others.
  
8. To evaluate your ability and role properly, thus you will not develop unnecessary psychological pressure on yourself.


  
Identify Self Psychological Pressure:

  If you feel you are in a disturbed state of mind, easy to get raged, in low spirit, with sleeping problems and poor working efficiency, you’d better ask yourself if you have any psychological pressure. If so, to find out where it comes from and how would you help yourself to reduce it?

  If you are not a medical worker and if you feel something wrong physically, please go to see a doctor. Otherwise, with the little medical knowledge you have, you would think too much of the matter and bring pressure to yourself. Learn to relax, make the “complicated matter simple”, and thus to decrease your psychological burden.

  Strategies to Handle Tension:

  If you have psychological pressure, learn to get relaxed and to relieve the pressure, otherwise you will really get sick or develop various psychological problems or even mental disease.

  1. Find a way to control the pressure: Sometimes, we have pressure; it is not because that we get into hot water but because how we act to those matters that we encounter in life. You cannot control what would fall upon you, but can take a right attitude toward any blow you have. So, when facing pressure, you “never let the pressure occupy your mind.” It is the key to keep optimism to tackle pressure and to take pressure as a motivation of advancement. Always leave a space for yourself when you have press, to think it over peacefully and always give active consideration to poor mood.

  2. Try to make an internal balance: Psychologists believe that to be calm is the best way to keep one’s mind in control. Here is a way to make your mind relax. Every day, either in the morning or evening, sit still cross-legs for about 20 minutes to make an internal peace. In this way, you will reduce blood pressure and anxiety. A survey shows that a man overburden by anxiety sits quietly for 10 minutes every day counting his heartbeats concentratedly, he would gradually make his heartbeats slow. When you develop with tension and anxiety, try to make a deep breath. In addition, massage will also reduce pressure effectively.

      3. Know how to maintain equilibrium: Many people complain that they don’t have enough time and there are a lot of things waiting for them to do. Such anxiety and pressure become part of their life. However, I don’t think these people understand the real meaning of life. To maintain equilibrium they’d better change the way of thinking. They’d better find a time to recall the things that they once enjoyed. When you begin to worry about trifles, try to find a way to handle it, for instance, talking to yourself with a piece of paper and pen. It will help you to solve many psychological problems.

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凌笋昂 副主任医师

好大夫工作室 精神科

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